Stress Is Nothing but Unmet Expectations

How was your 2025?

I spent much of 2025 waiting for things to “get back to normal,” as if the right quarter, the right deal, or the right market signal would eventually arrive and reset everything. That quiet hope lingered in the background, even as the year kept moving forward on its own terms.

So last year was stressful.

That’s not something I say lightly, and it’s not something I usually lead with. But it’s true.

At the start of the year, I expected to be in a very different place by now. I expected to have more projects underway. I expected to be solidly in the payout period for the people who have trusted me with their capital. I expected momentum to look a certain way.

Instead, the year unfolded differently.

I’ve evaluated at least fifty potential projects. Only a select few even made it to underwriting. Fewer still were worth serious consideration. And some days, that gap between what I expected and what actually happened felt enormous. I stayed awake at night pondering new avenues, stressing when I came up short.

That’s when a phrase I’ve carried for years kept resurfacing:

Stress is nothing but unmet expectations.

The stress wasn’t coming from the work. I was working harder than ever.

It wasn’t coming from a lack of discipline or effort.

It came from the distance between the future I thought would arrive by now and the reality I was standing in.

The Hardest Kind of Stress

There’s a specific kind of stress that comes from restraint.

I cannot make myself buy a project simply for the sake of having a project. I won’t force something just so it looks like progress. I won’t trade long-term safety for short-term optics.

And yet, there were moments last year where not having a new “job” in the traditional sense felt deeply uncomfortable. Moments where patience felt indistinguishable from stagnation. Moments where the pressure to act conflicted with the responsibility to wait.

That tension is real.

Where I’ve Found Solace

What steadies me is this: the projects we do have already carry enough earned equity to protect the people invested in them.

That matters.

It means decisions were made conservatively.
It means discipline showed up before urgency.
It means protection was prioritized before expansion.

And it gives me clarity about my role moving forward.

I will continue to fight for opportunities. I will continue to review, underwrite, reject, and refine. Not to manufacture activity, but to pursue the kind of opportunities that actually improve outcomes, not just headlines.

Stress as a Teacher

This year forced me to confront my own expectations.

Some were reasonable.
Some were optimistic.
Some, in hindsight, were rooted more in timing than in truth.

Stress didn’t mean I was on the wrong path. It meant I needed to realign expectations with reality, not abandon the principles that got me here.

That’s a distinction worth remembering.

A Belief That’s Taken Root

Over time, I’ve come to firmly believe in the idea of Sai Weng Shi Ma, the story of the old man and the horse. It’s a reminder that what looks like misfortune today may reveal itself as protection or opportunity later, and that certainty is often an illusion we create to feel comfortable.

I think it’s worth spending time on that idea during Thursdays educational newsletter.

For now, I’ll leave you with this:

If stress is showing up in your life, pause before reacting. Ask yourself which expectation quietly went unmet, and whether it needs to be defended or revised.

Sometimes the most responsible move isn’t faster action.

It’s steadier conviction.

And sometimes, what feels like delay is exactly what’s keeping you aligned with the outcome you actually want.